My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.