Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
The sun is just a big space heater.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!