Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.