What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
The sun is just a big space heater.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!