How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.