What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
The superconductor left without resistance.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”