It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
The superconductor left without resistance.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.