What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.