Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
The sun is just a big space heater.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.