Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
The superconductor left without resistance.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.