I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
The sun is just a big space heater.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.