I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.