Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”