How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.