I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!