Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .