The sun is just a big space heater.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.