The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI