Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”