Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
The sun is just a big space heater.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”