Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.