How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.