Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.