What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.