A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
I really hate straws.
They suck.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.