Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.