Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.