My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.