Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.