One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.