Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.