Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.