*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.