I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.