A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.