V
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Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.