If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.