Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.