I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.