What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.