Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"