Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.