I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.