I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.