I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.