People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.