I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.