Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!