A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.