What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.