I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
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Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.