What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.