What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.