What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.