*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"