My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.