I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, so I went to the store on my way to work.
It was a quick pit stop.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
Slightly disappointed that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders" have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
Putting on makeup and putting on glasses serve the same purpose...
They make the person look better!
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead?
She needed to makeup her mind!
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
My job installed this new faucet.
I'm really faucinated by it.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
My dad was fixing the basin in the bathroom and accidentally broke some tiles.
My mother said, "I told you that method would be fewtile".
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
My dentist says I don't brush enough but hey-
We all have our floss.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!