Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
I wanted to do the dishes and wasn’t sure where I put the dish soap.
Then it Dawned on me.
Stayed in a posh hotel with towels so thick I could barely shut my suitcase.
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?
"Get out. This is micelle"
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
I got shampoo in my eyes while showering today.
My husband said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
To all ya'll without tap water,
Get well soon.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
I don't know don't about your faucet, but mine is doing a pour job.
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
Britain’s most common owl? The teatowel.
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Because he was basic.
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others’ privacy.
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
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I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"