Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
"Hey, dad, there's a leak in the sink. Should I call the plumber?"
"No silly, just put it in the fridge!"
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
[removed]
Getting tired of all this laundry. I’m going to throw the towel in.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
I don't know don't about your faucet, but mine is doing a pour job.
The directions for my new dandruff shampoo are very confusing.
It's a real head-scratcher!
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I used too much of my wife’s moisturizer after taking my shower this morning.
So I called in slick for work today.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
A plumber and his coworkers finally fixed his own sink after years of not having access to tap water. He started crying, and his coworkers asked why.
He said with a trembling voice, "Because water works!"
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
What did the duck say when she purchased new lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Britain’s most common owl? The teatowel.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath.
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.