I wonder...
How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
What do you call a distant shower sponge?
Aloofah.
I was washing the car with my son, until he said...
“Dad, please, can’t you just use a sponge?”
How do sponges talk to the devil?
They use a squeegee board.
Why are sponges such good listeners?
Because they soak up everything.
I once knew an arrogant sponge.
He was very self absorbed
Why did the sponge wake up early?
To get the moist out of the day.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy Bear.
Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath.
You're not allowed to eat teeth
It's for-bitten.
What do you call a tree without teeth?
A gumtree.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed...
To be honest this is pretty de-molar-izing.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
A Molar Bear.
Whoever came up with the word dentures really missed an opportunity to call it "Substi-tooths"
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
[removed]
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
Where do killer whales go to get their braces?
The orca-dontist.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
Why did the deer get braces?
Because he had buck teeth.
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
My dentist says I don't brush enough but hey-
We all have our floss.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments?
She finds them obtooth.
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie?
Jaws.
My wife says to me this morning "Our son's toothbrush is getting fraid"
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
Ever use one of those expensive toothbrushes?
It's breath-taking.
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
A thief stole my toothbrush.
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.
Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.