What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
The latest thing in flooring are these ductile floor tiles. They’re great because they’re flexible but...
They have a tendency to quack.
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
I want to open a doctors office with a nail salon inside.
It’ll be called “Many Cures and Manicures”.
"Hey, dad, there's a leak in the sink. Should I call the plumber?"
"No silly, just put it in the fridge!"
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I once knew an arrogant sponge.
He was very self absorbed
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
My job installed this new faucet.
I'm really faucinated by it.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
I've seen a meteor shower,
but never seen a meteor take a bath.
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
Ever use one of those expensive toothbrushes?
It's breath-taking.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
Prince Charles is selling his towel.
If anybody wants a heir dryer...
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Noticed the ladies' restroom door was missing the 'W'.
Told my daughter that sign was a bad omen
A kitchen sink that treats you right?
That's a Farrah Fawcett.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
My wife was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, “Should I buy new beach towels?”
I wrote back, “Shore.”
How do sponges talk to the devil?
They use a squeegee board.
Last night my house was broken into, and all they stole was soap.
Dirty criminals. Cops say they got away clean.
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?