When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
Why did the model bring her lipstick and eye shadow to school?
Because she had a make-up exam!
I lost my daughter’s cosmetics bag...
I wonder how I’ll make up for this mistake.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
A Molar Bear.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you call a distant shower sponge?
Aloofah.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
I bought a larger sink with a built in subwoofer.
My current one doesn't have enough basin.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
You're not allowed to eat teeth
It's for-bitten.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead?
She needed to makeup her mind!
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
I had to unclog my sink today.
I found it to be very draining.
Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
My job installed this new faucet.
I'm really faucinated by it.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy Bear.
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
[removed]
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
What do you call pig shampoo?
Hogwash.
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Cause they dumbbell dry.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.