Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
Getting tired of all this laundry. I’m going to throw the towel in.
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
All farts...are laughing gas.
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Here’s my best advice for getting a job in the lotion industry:
Apply daily.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
The directions for my new dandruff shampoo are very confusing.
It's a real head-scratcher!
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.
The police are looking into it.
Why does it cost $1 to use the urinal at the Department of Homeland Security?
If you pee something, pay something.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick....
She still isn't talking to me.
Prince Charles is selling his towel.
If anybody wants a heir dryer...
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.