Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
I was washing the car with my son, until he said...
“Dad, please, can’t you just use a sponge?”
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne".
The instructions on this stick deodorant said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I can hardly walk!
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Because he was basic.
Once we were so poor, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper.
Now those days are behind me.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others’ privacy.
My wife asked me to help her apply mascara...
It was an eye-opening experience.
Said to my husband I'm going to take a hot tub. He said...
"When are you going to put it back?"
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Cause they dumbbell dry.
Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead?
She needed to makeup her mind!
"Hey, dad, there's a leak in the sink. Should I call the plumber?"
"No silly, just put it in the fridge!"