A kitchen sink that treats you right?
That's a Farrah Fawcett.
Dialysis is a blood bath.
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Why are the tiles in your shower so jolly?
They're having a grout time.
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...
I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
What do you call a little tune about atmospheric moisture?
A humi-ditty.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
Where do killer whales go to get their braces?
The orca-dontist.
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.