When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead?
She needed to makeup her mind!
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
Why do volcanoes need lotion?
So they dont get ashy.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"