I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Which color is the fastest?
Red, because it is always redy.
The leech, who is good at drawing blood, applied for a job in an art gallery.
Q. Why are orange jokes so dumb?
A. Because oranges are afraid to concentrate.
Why does everyone paint Easter Eggs? Because it is a lot easier than wallpapering them.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
Which barnyard animal is a famous painter?
Vincent Van Goat
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...
My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.
My Asian neighbor owns a T-shirt company where he colors white shirts. I think it's a Thai Dye T-shirt company.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
Artists know how to draw the line, so you can't really peer pressure them.
Colors laugh by saying, "Hue Hue Hue."
Why did the artist get into a heated argument with the gallery curator? He just wasn't in the right frame of mind.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
Elephant boxing matches are very difficult to watch. It becomes tough to identify as both have grey trunks!
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
The painter did not want to sit idle because he knew that time white for no one.
The art teacher encourages her students to move in the light direction.
What did the painter say to the wall? Another crack like that and I'll have to plaster you!
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
A bear's least favorite pastry at any party is the blue bear-y pie.
The sun's favorite color is ultraviolet. Apparently, it glows with everything.
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
They say that the cardio system is the work of artery, but it is really just vein.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Once I tried to paint the sky but I blue it.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
Librarians don't like drinking white wine. They prefer the well red ones!
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
Did you hear about the artist's really messy house? He said it was 'a work in progress'.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
I went to a new kind of show yesterday, which was hosted by a color-changing lizard. He was a good stand-up chameleon.
When facing trouble in the workspace, all the colorists rallied together by saying, "Come what grey, we will overcome all obstacles!"
The fact that we were asked to leave our beautiful purple color house by the owner is still purplexing for me.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
I'd hate to be the bearer of bad blues.
As the incessant rain washed away the blue paint of the house, the owner sighed and said, "Cyanara!"
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
After checking my poor results, the art teacher shouted, "Never in a vermilion years have I seen such poor grades"!