The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
What do you call a chameleon that can't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
The favorite fruit of all ghost's are Bloooooo-berries!
Did you hear about the color bomb?
Yeah it blue up.
The art teacher encourages her students to move in the light direction.
What did the artist ask the preschooler? Can you count to pen?
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
If a purple-colored fruit gets stuck in your drain, then you should call a plum-ber to fix it.
I recently ran a charity marathon to promote greener earth, but the run left me a little jaded.
The pirate steals arrrrt when he has the chance.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
Which barnyard animal is a famous painter?
Vincent Van Goat
TV news anchors love the shades of red. They get serious whenever there is Burgundy.
Why did the artist go to the lounge? Because it was her comfort tone.
Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he just didn't have an ear for music.
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
They say that the cardio system is the work of artery, but it is really just vein.
Don't get caught between a chalk and a hard place.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Q: What did the artist say to the dentist?-
A: Matisse hurt
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Q. Why are orange jokes so dumb?
A. Because oranges are afraid to concentrate.
Did you hear about the colorful sea cow?
Oh the hue-manatee!!!
Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
Why did the artist use the bathroom? Because she was consta-painted.
The leech, who is good at drawing blood, applied for a job in an art gallery.
What did the angry artist say? Don't get me arted!
The coffee shop owner was afraid. He wanted to know if the shop had ground to operate in the black.
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
Why didn't the artist replace his kitchen sink? Because he said that if it's not baroque, don't fix it.
What did one paint say to another when they got in an argument? Don't use that tone with me.
Librarians don't like drinking white wine. They prefer the well red ones!
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Colors laugh by saying, "Hue Hue Hue."
The snow leopard appeared just at the time our guide predicted it. It appeared white on time!
After checking my poor results, the art teacher shouted, "Never in a vermilion years have I seen such poor grades"!
What's long, surprisingly bigger than expected, comes in different colors, and everyone wants a ride from?
A limousine.