Did you hear about the color bomb?
Yeah it blue up.
If you live in a purple-colored house and suddenly all the power goes off, then you should probably check the fuchsia box.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
The painter loved to paint because he was drawn to art.
Don't get caught between a chalk and a hard place.
How did Salvador Dali like to start his mornings? With a bowl of Surreal and milk.
The garden where only white cars are driven can be called a garden of white carnation.
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
What did the painter say to the wall? Another crack like that and I'll have to plaster you!
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
Did you see the display of still-life art? It was not at all moving.
In the paintball game, I shot a guy thrice. He dyed on impact.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
The artist painted himself into a corner, leading to his death.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
My sister was diagnosed as color blind. The revelation really came out of the blue.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
Can anyone advise me what color my hair is?
I find it's a bit of a grey area.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state-of-the-art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
They're calling it Mercedes-clenz.
Dreaming in color is the artist's pigment of imagination.
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
A ship load of red paint crashed into a ship load of blue paint. The crews were marooned.
The leech, who is good at drawing blood, applied for a job in an art gallery.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Which color is the fastest?
Red, because it is always redy.
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
If art became imprisoned we'd have to Freda art.
What did one paint say to another when they got in an argument? Don't use that tone with me.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
The pirate steals arrrrt when he has the chance.
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
What do you call an artist without a palette? Someone who makes paintings without taste.
What do zombies use to color their hair?
Dye of the dead!
Q: How do Japanese artists bid farewell?
A: Cyan-Nara!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
Q. Where do red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet crayons like to go hiking?
A. Colorado.
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.