I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
My Asian neighbor owns a T-shirt company where he colors white shirts. I think it's a Thai Dye T-shirt company.
Jack is a lovable man with a colorful personality. He is a great hue-man.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
I was going to joke about my broken pencil, but it was pointless.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
TV news anchors love the shades of red. They get serious whenever there is Burgundy.
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
What's long, surprisingly bigger than expected, comes in different colors, and everyone wants a ride from?
A limousine.
Q. What did one artistic colored pencil say to another?
A. Bro, you are lookin' sharp today!
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
My colleague kept on missing deadlines, so I advised him not to bite off more than he can blue!
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
They say that the cardio system is the work of artery, but it is really just vein.
My dad and I saw this girl with a colorful backpack covered in pot leaves
He turned to me and said "thats a dope backpack". He is catching onto my slang.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
What's the difference between a colorful women's garment and a famous live music venue?
One's a house of blues, the other's a blouse of hues.
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?
A: Make them do limeout.
Q: How does an artist fill in a CV?
A: He draws on experience.
The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
Why was the museum curator so good at judging paintings and sculptures? He was talented at art official intelligence.
What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
I was really surprised when I learned that singer Pink's favorite color was actually green. No one could have i-magenta-it.
In the paintball game, I shot a guy thrice. He dyed on impact.
While building a house, the architect took his fingers and dipped them in a jar of blue ink. He wanted to get the blueprints!
Elephant boxing matches are very difficult to watch. It becomes tough to identify as both have grey trunks!
The only thing that is black and white and has to be red all over is a newspaper.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
Though my brother won the art competition, he went up to his rival and gave him the credit where it was hue!
A bear's least favorite pastry at any party is the blue bear-y pie.
I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy. Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
Where do vampires go to buy their art supplies? Pencilvania.
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state-of-the-art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
They're calling it Mercedes-clenz.
Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
A friend of mine swallowed some food colouring. He feels he dyed a little inside.