Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.