Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
The sun is just a big space heater.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.