I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!