What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"