Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.