Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?