What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.