Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.