Young

There once was a young man called Kyle,
who worked at the circus a while.
He flew through the air,
with hardly a care,
and that's why his body's in a pile.
There once was a young boy named Nick,
Who by chance was always being kicked.
He tried not to fight,
For he was smart, kind and bright,
So he learned how to run really quick.
There was a Young Lady whose chin,
Resembled the point of a pin.
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
There was a young lady from Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They came back from the ride,
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
There was a Young Lady whose eyes,
Were unique as to colour and size;
When she opened them wide,
People all turned aside,
And started away in surprise.
There was a young fellow named Clyde,
who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother,
and fell in another,
and now they're interred side by side.
She followed her nose,
One day, I suppose,
And no one knows which way she went.
There was a young lady named Rose,
Who had a large wart on her nose.
When she had it removed,
Her appearance improved,
But her glasses slipped down to her toes.
Julia tells her husband, "James, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome.
Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.
Now, why can't you do that?"
"Gosh," James says, "why I hardly know the girl."
Joe and His Dead Horse
Joe and His Dead Horse A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days. A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Joe replied, "Well, then just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I've spent it already." Joe said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with it?" Joe said, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't flog a dead horse!" Joe said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?" Joe said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $5 a piece and made a profit of $2495." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Joe said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $5 back."
The Young Priest's Ideas
The Young Priest's Ideas An elderly priest, speaking to a younger priest, said: "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now." The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued: "And you told me that adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n' roll gospel choir. "Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony." "Thank you, father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth." "All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest. "But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional." "But, father," protested the young priest, "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!" "Yes," replied the elderly priest, "and I appreciate that. But that flashing neon sign, ‘Toot 'n' Tell or Go to Hell’ cannot stay on the church roof.”
An insomniac young fellow named Hatches
Took a room in a whorehouse in Natchez
He still tossed and turned
half the night, but he learned
How to manage by sleeping in snatches.
There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think –
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
There was a young girl of Cape Cod
Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
But ’twas not the Almighty
Who hiked up her nightie –
‘Twas Roger, the lodger, by God!
There was a young lady from the Azores
Whose box was all covered with sores
And the dogs in the street
Wouldn’t bark at the meat
that hung in festoons from her drawers.
There was a young lady from Kew
Who said, as the bishop withdrew
Oh the Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And four inches longer than you.
There once was a young man named Bruno,
who said, "F*ing is one thing I do know.
"Sheep are just fine,
"And women devine,
"But, llamas are numero uno!"
There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up covered in goo.
An Unorthodox Method
An Unorthodox Method A woman went to her doctor's clinic. She was seen by one of the doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. One of the younger doctors stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. She had her sit down and relax in another room. The younger doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The older doctor smiled as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"