Worm Jokes

Little Johnny's Chemistry Class Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"

Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
Oh, I wish I were a glow worm,
for a glow worm's never glum,
'cause how can you be grumpy
when the sun shines out your bum?

(Taylor Russell)
Knock, Knock

Who’s there?

Can!

Can who?

Can I worm my way in to your house!
Knock, Knock

Who’s there?

Glow!

Glow who?

Glow worm!
A wise man will know
finding a worm in a pear…
better than half worm

(Jan Allison)
"A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." – Bill Vaughan
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