Washing Jokes

Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot’s mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”—Terry Pratchett
One day, a father was washing a car with his son...
The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
A Great Dentist A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a really good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a really good dentist, How did you figure THAT out?" "Didn't feel a thing!"
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
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