When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
When I was in school I got a B in biology, a C in chemistry.
And an F in Physics.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Good science always checks itself before it wrecks itself.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
The superconductor left without resistance.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
Before America was founded, the idea of a democratic nation in the New World was unPresidented.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder