During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.