nurse jokes Posts

Joke: A Slightly Confused Nurse

Three doctors with a growing private practice decided they needed to hire a new nurse onto their staff to meet their needs. They hired a very qualified applicant named Sue, and met after a week to discuss the new nurse's abilities in her new role.

Joke: The Best Nursing Home

With their ailing mother needing constant medical supervision, a family decided to bring her to a very expensive and caring nursing home for a day to try it out.

This Cheeky Nurse Knows How to Handle with Care...

A young student nurse came into his room, ready to give him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,” he mumbled from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replied: “I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body.”

The Most Unbelievable Food is Served In This Nursing Home!

Now Chef Kevin works every day alongside the residents of the nursing home to determine the best menu for each day and other healthy and tasty treats to be served.

With These 10 Rules, Doctors and Nurses Get Sick Less!

They don’t touch their face Usually, the transmission of illnesses is from hands, nose, eyes, and mouth," says Nicoleta Constantin, a nurse at several North Carolina hospitals.

Today's Joke: A Large Wager...

Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. One of the old Grandmas yelled out, 'Hey, we bet we can tell exactly how old you are!' The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess my age! One of the Grandmas said, 'Sure we can!

Joke: The Will, the Family and the Properties

He realizes he doesn't have much time left, so he asks his nurse to bring his wife, daughter, and both sons to him, as well as witnesses and a camera to record his last wishes. When all are assembled, their eyes misty and their faces drawn, he begins to speak.

Joke: The Crafty Doctor

Doctor: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.' Lawyer: 'Ugh, this is kerosene!' Doctor: 'Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.' The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer: 'I have lost my memory.

Joke: His One and Only Request...

and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush." The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can."

This Joke Starts With a Guy Laying Half Dead In a Ward

A doctor is going around the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead. "Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor. "Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!"

This Joke Begins With a General Visiting an Army Hospital...

and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush." The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can."

Joke: The Abusive Patient and the Patient Doctor

A nurse walks in checking on the doctor to see if he is okay to find him smiling and happy as ever. The nurse becomes confused and asks: "Why are you so happy doctor? That man was a real asshole if you'll pardon me." The doctor smiles: "I know, that's why I used the correct thermometer." ​

Hilarious Joke: The Sick Parishioner...

A pastor goes to a nursing home for the first time to visit an elderly parishioner. As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and takes one. As they continue their conversation, he can't help himself and eats one after another.

Joke: Three Couples on Their Honeymoons

She told him she was a nurse. The man at the front desk thought "nurses are even sexier. This guy's going to get laid." The third couple checked in right after. The same question was asked. The bride said she was a high school teacher. The man behind the desk scoffed. "Teachers are so strict."

This Joke Made Me Laugh My Head Off

The nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor. "In front of you?" He asks shyly. The nurse says: "Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before. The man said, "Not one like mine. You'd die laughing at my naked body."

Joke: Haggling With St. Peter

Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St.